The Uselessness of Anger

So, I go to CVS to do a little couponing (not a great deal) and since it's Sunday I know new coupons are coming. 

I stand at the entrance and go through the Sunday paper to verify the coupons are there. Since coupons are the main objective for the paper's purchase I want to make sure every insert is in there. I'm there for about five minutes. From the corner of my eye I can see the cashier looking at me. "Can I help you sir?" 

"No," I snapped. "I'm fine." She was already ringing up a customer and worried about the casually dressed black man at the entrance. If I were to steal these papers she couldn't catch me? Pay attention to your customer I thought. This angered me.

I carefully chose 3 papers, she rung me up. I was OBVIOUS irritated by her unspoken implications and I wanted her to see it. I didn't even say hello I was so irritable. I snatched my purchases off the counter and aggressively exited the store. 

By the time I get to the parking lot of my apartment I found my wallet missing. I checked my seat, my pockets, my bags and then checked out of security. I freaked out. My emotion shifted from anger to fear. All things important were in my wallet. I drive back to CVS it's not there but I finally found my wallet by the door of the passenger's seat. I was relieved.

It hit me in that moment. Anger is not a useful emotion, it is not employable, it is not productive. Had I not assumed the implications of the cashier and merely replied, "I'm making sure all the coupons are here," she would have understand why I was at the door and I would have never entered into that realm of frustration.

Had I NOT been anger... I would have been conscious.